Last impressions: my last lesson with 3GA at Kawaura High School.

it all started with already planned and scripted questions that started out quite innocently.

Anne sensei, what did you have for breakfast today?
- I had Croissant with egg today

Anne sensei, where was the last place you went recently?
- i went to hiroshima

Anne sensei, what was the happiest day for you recently?
- Right now

Anne sensei, what did you feel sad about recently?
- I feel sad about leaving Japan *tears

Anne sense, do you have a boyfriend?
- No i dont. I want Johnny depp though….
What about me?
What? You? I would consider

Japanese English teacher then says… well… what do you have to offer Anne sensei?

and the guy grins and start unbuttoning his shirt…. and we all know he is very proud of his body…
and i am reaching for the camera and then he takes off his shirt and then t-shirt and i am like WHAT… and laughing…
and he displays his perfectly toned front page worthy muscles to me and poses.

Ok. point taken. I would SERIOUSLY consider.

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the strangeness that is Japan

For a place that frowns upon people eating while walking it is interesting to note that walking around while brushing your teeth is ok.
So is cutting your nails in the office or as I have just observed, cleaning your ears with a ear-digger with a BELL attached to it.
The juxtaposition of a bell and the ear-digger in the office is hilarious it just makes everyone glance at you as you are cleaning your ear.

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Declarations of love

He sees me come into the classroom and stops his conversation.
He stands in front of me and says " Anne sensei, I love you " . Pauses for dramatic effect, and continues " only you " and gazes into my eyes
I laugh and say "why, thanks!"
He says, after consulting his friends for the right words, "Will you marry me?"
And in the tone used to decline an offer of tea, I reply politely, " No, thank you!"

I walk along the corridor and we cross paths.
He smiles and says "Anne sensei, I love you". Points at me, and continues "only you"
I laugh and say "hmmm, thanks!"

I sit alone, watching the students practice their games at a Sports festival rehearsal.
A soccer goal post stands in front of me.
He spots me and comes over, holds the netting with one hand and leans into it.
He strikes a pose that can only be described as reminiscent of a 90′s mandarin MV leading man
"Anne, I love you" . Strikes another cliche pose and says what he has always said before, "only you"

I know I would miss such loud bombastic declarations of love when I return to Singapore.

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The Kocho strikes again

Kocho [looks at the noticeboard and shuffles to my table] : ballrupen. rental. ballrupen rental.

Anne [smiles]: No problem!

Kocho [after confirming his attendence by making a circle against his name]: アン タン (Anne Tan) Sports day drinking?

Anne: ??? ah..

Kyoto: Party…

Anne: AH! Enkai? HAI! (What? Dinner party? Yes! I’ll be attending) and thinks… when is it? can i really go for it?

Kocho: OK. アン タン (Anne Tan) Maru(circle)… HANAMARU (flower circle… given to students who get all correct in a handout)

so now i have a flower against my name. =)

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death.

On the 31st of March, I attended the funeral of Satoko Yamashita. A student from the special needs school that I visit once a month. 17. She was wheelchair-bound and was entirely dependent on her teachers move her around. Yet, such a bright and cheerful teenager. Her favourite colour was pink. She loved Kitty-chan (hello kitty), her favourite band was ‘Dreams come true’ and she was always psyched up for our English lessons.

During our last lesson, I taught her the names of animals in English and the sounds they made. We had fun discovering how animals sounded different in different cultures. We discovered that we shared a common aversion to snakes.

Last month, we played ‘Paper sumo’ together. I revised the animal sounds we learnt the month before. I was looking forward to seeing her after Spring break.

Then, a phone call came on the 30th, telling me that she had passed on for no apparent reason. She just died. Rationally, I knew that it was probable that severely disabled people will have shorter lifespans. Yet, it still came as a shock. I never knew how I had come to love her for being such a bright spot in my visits. I felt a deep sadness.

Yesterday, another student died. He was in a car along Route 266, on his way home. The car crashed. He was thrown out. He had just graduated in March, all ready to start a new chapter of his life. A chapter that has ended, abruptly.

He was always cheerful, mischievious. a joker. Part of a group of boys who would stare at me and make faces at me while waiting for assembly to begin. Ready to see me laugh. Always ready for the next joke. My last conversation with him was in the library. He was wearing a pink shirt with a crappy English phrase i can’t seem to recall, that made me smile. I told him I liked it very much and he proudly turned around and showed us the slogan more clearly. His smile always brought one of mine out.

My heart sank when I learnt about in the evening . I couldn’t make it for the wake because I was going for the Haiya dance. Another young person gone. too early. I just wanted to keep asking my colleague, how he died, to find out the reason. But, here, everyone was quiet, they didn’t know. and I stopped probing.

At that time, I felt a sense of relief that I didn’t have to attend another funeral. I just didn’t have it in me to go for another one. Yet, as I type this, I realise that I do regret not going. I probably would never forget that I forgot, for the sake of my own desire to avoid facing death, to say goodbye.

I wasn’t as closely connected to both students and I feel this sad. I cannot imagine what the other teachers are feeling.

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A…so!!!

As I walk out of the school door, I spot Kocho sensei on a smoke break

N: Otsukaresamadeshita!

K (deep voice) : O… see you tomorrow!

N: Ah! Tomorrow, I take nenkyu (I am on leave tmr)!! I am going Aso!

K: A… so!!!! [Pun - Aso and a-so, meaning "oh i see"]

N (N thinks…. er… this is a very cold joke) : *Laugh* see you!!

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High School – the ground where emotions run deep and real

A teacher was so overcome by sadness from being transferred to another school that he broke down and cried while making an annoucement about a broken board found in the career counselling room.

I was picking at my nails and feeling so extremely cold in the gym, when I looked up and was shocked to see him crying in front of the students. The teacher loves collecting ultraman figurines.

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Making peace with the situation

I have discovered the beauty of ranting in an email, then deleting all the potentially hurtful comments, before writing something short and simple to convey the information you wanted to convey in the first place.

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how a nice ‘how are you’ got me invited to dinner

Twice a week, when I go to Kawaura High School, I would greet N sensei . Today, I had a lot of time, so as she walked into the teacher’s room?

I went ‘Hi N sensei, how are you?’

‘I’m fine, thank you!’ and she paused and turned back. ‘ My daughter is back for 2 months!’ and she proceeded to update me on her daughter’s boyfriend that her daughter had brought along with her from Africa. Her daughter’s my age.

‘Dinner?’ she looked at me expectantly.

I was surprised, stunned even because it was unexpected and unsure because I didn’t want to misinterprete and self-invite myself to her house.

‘sure! I’lll be happy to! when?’ and we proceeded to make a date.

I look forward to such dinners because I love observing and discovering how other people live.

It also happens that N sensei’s husband works in another school that i go to and sit opposite me, so it feels quite comfortable.

I have to remember to buy some omiyage from Nagasaki for them.

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Crocodiles

Alligator, Crocodile – Dream Symbols Guest Author – Aisling Ireland

When I lived in Florida, I saw an eerie nighttime sight in some of the lakes there that did not have great amounts of human traffic. One could shine a flashlight out over the water and watch as bright red eyes appeared in the light. The eyes were all one could see–a stark reminder of the alligators lurking just below the surface.

Another common sight, this one at almost all lakes, was a sign that read: ‘Caution: Hidden Danger’. Underneath the caption was a picture of an alligator who looked poised to snap at any given moment. That sign could as a signpost for dreamers as it pretty much summarizes the typical symbolism of alligators in dreams.

Dreams of alligators or crocodiles often represent both of these waking life sights. Alligators and crocodiles are creatures that are stealthy, animals that keep themselves well hidden until they are ready to strike. Thus, alligators and crocodiles in dreams can signify ‘hidden danger’–a situation that you are aware of on an intuitive level but are not acknowledging in your conscious mind. This can be a simmering situation at work, a untrustworthy person, or sadly, anything that you can’t really see coming but which strikes out of the blue and without mercy.

Alligators may also represent the Jungian archetype known as the ‘Shadow’–that part of ourselves that lurks in the background serving as a holding box for all the we don’t want to see in our selves. (We will look at the Shadow and explore its archetypal symbolism next week.)

When dreaming of any animal, it is important to keep in mind that the animal is representing not only the symbolism of that animal, but also your own feelings and emotions. Our feelings take on animal form in dreams because this allows us to keep the emotions at arms length. We can look at the animal and explore the concepts behind it with out being overwhelmed by the accompanying emotion. By morphing our emotions into animal symbolism we can ‘see’ them and deal with them.

Since alligators and crocodiles are associated with water, and since water is often symbolic of the emotions, when these reptiles appear in your dreams they may be symbols of profound, potent emotions. They can mean your emotions have reached a dangerous level–you may be feeling like they will ‘swallow’ you whole. Your emotions may be reaching a point where they are becoming wild, and you feel you, like the alligator in the Florida lakes signs, may snap at any given moment. Alligators and crocodiles may also represent false emotions–the idea expressed when we say some one is crying ‘crocodile tears’.

However unpleasant most of these interpretations of alligators and crocodiles are, it is interesting to note that these reptiles are also extremely powerful. While it may be impossible to make friends with a waking life alligator, it is not impossible to make your dream alligator your ally.

If you can identify the emotions or situation that is lurking under the surface of your conscious mind, you can use that powerful energy as protection rather than experiencing it as a hidden danger. You can harness the energy and use it as a source of inspiration and creativity.

The ancient Egyptians were well aware of the power of crocodile and how that power could be used for constructive purposes. They projected that power onto images of some of their gods. For example, the god Sobek was depicted as a crocodile. Sobek was a fertility god and also a god of creativity. Sometimes even Sekhmet, an Egyptian warrior goddess was sometimes depicted with a crocodile’s head. This was an illustration of her power and ability to defend the sun god Ra by crushing his foes in order to defend his kingdom. In waking life, alligators and crocodiles are in fact, fierce, loving, protective mothers. Sekhmet embodies this trait.

Most important though than any of these interpretations are your own personal associations with alligators and/or crocodiles. Think back to any personal encounters you have had with these creatures and then see if those experiences have any matching correspondence to your dream reptile experience. Your own personal mythology always supersedes any dream interpreter’s ideas–even mine.

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